What comes to mind when we talk about travelling light? The first thought would be packing bags efficiently and practically, based on important information such as location, weather, length of stay etc. Easy! But the real question is, what about travelling light emotionally? A vacation with children can sometimes be heavy baggage. So how can we lighten up?
I was not a light traveler with my children. Literally and emotionally. You see, I have two boys. Enough said! But jokes aside, I can really be quite neurotic. Ever trip was planned as if I was going to war. I always expected the worst! I was what Singaporeans call “kiasu” - fear of losing (out) and “kiasi” - fear of dying (in its literal translation, but usually used in the context of failing). My bag would be stuffed with necessary-unnecessary things. As a result, the bag weighed a ton and yet I wouldn’t let anyone help with it. Not having it with me made me feel very insecure. I basically had my whole house on my shoulders and at the end of the day, my body would ache leaving me tired and defeated.
Of course being prepared for unpredictable poop leakage and throwing up can be useful. But I’ve come to realise that when shit (excuse the stink) happens, no amount of “baby ammo” can prepare you for the stress and anxiety that comes with it. When my child screamed the roof down in a shopping mall or restaurant, or wait for it, in the plane (cue horror music), my heart started to pound, sweat glands went on overdrive and my face flushed. Thinking about those judgemental stares from other people made me want to bury my head in the ground like an ostrich.
Gigi Goh-Lim
Dessert Table Stylist, Creative, Funky Fairy
(HWI Family Retreat Alumni)
While it still is a work in progress for me, one thing I’ve learned that really made a big difference is simply to just be. Let go! The releasing of fears and the need to control; what you fear is what you want to prevent. In trying to prevent, you create rules and expectations that need to be followed and met i.e. control of the situation and of self and others. We often forget that our way is not the only way. We get caught up in the problem and forget that children will be children and no amount of control is going to prevent unexpected things from happening. children mess up so they can learn to clean up. They throw tantrums so they can feel their emotions. Why won’t we allow it? How else will they learn? We freak out when children make a mess because perhaps we hate the clean up. We lost control when children throw a tantrum because we feel embarrassed and maybe, just maybe, we are secretly jealous that they get to scream and cry while we have to get our act together.